Yea. Been awhile. Lazyness strikes me often and to an extreme point. Just about everything I have done in college requires photographing and i just never get around to taking care of it. I know ive said it before and failed as usual but ive been thinking of getting back on again. I need something to occupy me since im plauged with quite a bit of alone time.
The recent breakup with the boyfriend of 7 months has taken its toll on me. Luckily things hadnt gone too far. But i just couldnt love him the way he wanted anymore and i couldnt fake it for either of us.
The sad thing is that since i no longer had ANY friends, HE became my best friend. Ive had others i considered my best friends dump me to the side before so i held on so hard to him because of it. I didnt want to feel that again. Deal with it again. I really want to be friends still but i know that it would be so hard for him. That he can be with me but cant have me. I know my head tells me that i shouldnt be friends with him at all. Especially since theres parts of his personality and such that being his girlfriend, i was privy to that not a single other person he knows has seen. And they were not that great of things in case your not catching the drift.
But we all get lonely right? Sometimes the lonliness makes us find others to fill the void that arent such a good idea just because they are the only ones there right? I just keep feeling like im that stupid girl that will keep going back to her abuser or something...
But in any case I want to try and get back into things on here. I just hope i can do it. Keep it up.